Scarlett's Letter

Review - Hair (Ford Oriental Theater)

2011-03-10T13:23:00.002-06:00

This will be a short one.

Let me first say that I fully expected to love this show. So the experience may be different for someone who has lower expectations. Let me also say that I participated in a community theater production of Hair when I was 16. So all the nonsensical lyrics actually make sense to me. = )

That being said, I found this performance a bit disappointing. The cast's energy level was awesome. But it fell short of contagious. It was odd being outside the fishbowl and watching the "kids" be so rambunctious without feeling it myself. I was surprised to find myself feeling detached from the action.

Even knowing all the crazy lyrics, I still couldn't make out the lyrics half the time. Poor Laura who accompanied me with no prior knowledge of this show was inescapably stuck with no idea what was happening. My attempts to sing in her ear didn't seem to help much, either...shocking, I know.

My disappointment lingered through Act I. But I think I'm a touch in love with the soul-searching Claude (just as I was in my own production) and when his storyline picks up in Act II, I was finally convinced to care about the show. The final scene was nothing short of magical. And after the curtain call, they let audience members on stage to sing a few final rounds of Let The Sunshine In. That was the most authentic free-love moment of them all and I wish we had been close enough to join in.

Overall, I seem to remember BEING a part of this show as awesome. OBSERVING it? Not so much. However, I think that's a proper illustration of hippie-philosophy. You just gotta be.

Review: The Secret Garden at Northwestern University

2010-11-17T18:37:00.001-06:00

2 Stars (barely)

I must confess my low rating is mostly based on an utter distaste for the musical's dialogue and libretto. I think Northwestern had plenty of talent, but this show was a complete downer. Also, musical theater uses the songs/lyrics to advance plotlines, and the score is so odd in its attempts to be haunting (very operatic at times) that you couldn't make out half of the words. There is a "theme" that bookends the show, and I had to Google the lyrics after the show because despite hearing it a few hundred times in this long show, I still couldn't figure it out! Thus, if you didnt' already know the story of Secret Garden, the whole thing might be confusing. It wasn't the performers' fault, though, as they clearly had big talent.

Marketing was terrible also. This is NOT a show for kids. It's depressing, with complicated relationships that kids couldn't quite follow (unless they knew the book backwards and forwards). It's borderline scary for kids with the ghost motif. Anyone else irritated by the ghosts steering the plot? That definitely doesn't happen in the book. Like I said, I found it to be a poor adaptation of the book. Don't read the playbill, either. The grammatical errors in the Director's Notes will drive you crazy. If not, each performer's bio mentions how he/she is "so excited" or "super excited" or "so extremely blessed". I was truly expecting an "OMG" to appear somewhere.

Finally, Cahn Auditorium was physically uncomfortable at this particular performance. They had the a/c on despite the outside temperature being 40-something degrees. My husband and I got our emergency blanket from the car trunk during intermission, and we were STILL cold. We were there to celebrate an anniversary and now I am hoping that we forget this particular celebration. Yuck! Maybe with the right expectations, someone else will enjoy this show. But it wasn't for me, despite loving the children's book and loving all things theater.

Changing Gears - Getting Well

2010-02-28T14:29:00.003-06:00

You probably already know that I have suffered through some health difficulties. And basically, I haven't exercised regularly in four years. My body shows it. I think I can rightfully blame my abdominal surgery for some of the softness in my midsection, but I have no excuses anymore. I'm on new meds, I'm feeling well, and I just need to get this done already. The first goal is 15 pounds, but the ultimate goal is 50.

It finally hit me as I was shopping with my thin husband. I was once a shopaholic, but shopping has lost its charm as I've gained weight and sizes. Now I just trudge along unhappily because I want some retail therapy, but I don't actually want anything with the dreaded size printed on it.

Mark tried to encourage me by saying that I should find something that makes me feel cute. And before I even completed the thought in my head, it came out: "I don't deserve to feel cute." I almost stopped in my tracks as I realized the depth of this statement.

Somewhere, deep inside, I must have some severe self-loathing. I think I have always defined myself as cute and perky. Without the first half of that statement, I'm not sure I know who I am. Don't get me wrong. I don't aspire to a stick. I'm built with curves and I like it that way. But I have finally reached the point where my round belly gets in my way when I try to tie my shoes. I spent MONTHS looking for tall boots that would zip up around my calves. I am almost as big around as some pregnant women I know.

No more excuses. I don't care how busy I am or how lazy I prefer to be. I simply can't afford an outcome that causes me to hate myself like this....

So far today, cardio/strength circuits at home. 30 mins = 191 calories burned. More to come after Olympic hockey. U-S-A!

Murphy's Law of Bigest Loser

2009-10-20T19:09:00.003-06:00

I will always forget that the Biggest Loser is on until I'm eating ice cream and flipping channels. Duuuude. So uncool. Thanks, Murph.

2009-10-06T15:36:00.003-06:00

Now here's a classic. Not even kidding. Hilarious. I. Am. Seriously. Stupid.

Fast forward to my early twenties. This was my commentary on a man who didn't love me, but I thought he did. I thought he was just waiting for me to make all the moves. So I got annoyed. And wrote this.

Sometime afterward, I DID make all the moves. Handed the boy my heart on a silver platter. And got rejected. Ouch. Turns out he just didn't dig me. But I maintain it would have been awfully helpful if he'd put on the man-pants in the beginning and just told me he wasn't into me. = )

"Initiation"

These are not my pants.
God told me so.
He would rather YOU wear them.
After all, you're the man.
So I'm strong. I work late.
I talk a lot. Loudly, too.
After all, I'm a modern woman.
But somewhere in here is a self-conscious girl
Who doesn't want her modern image.
Something doesn't seem to fit.
Kind of like these pants.
Deep down, she wants to rest sometimes.
To have you be strong and let her be weak.
Just sometimes, she needs to be silenced.
I think she needs a Rhett, and not an Ashley.
You see, some days I'm willing.
But I don't want to be buried in pants.
Please take them off me.
God made me a girl.

2009-10-06T15:30:00.002-06:00

And another - same bad style and writing - but NEW guy this time! Yay! Another MF who messed me up! = )

"Tonight"

When I lay down, you're all I see
Memories flashing, you must set me free
All these things you cannot be
Why am I scared when you have rescued me?

Where are you coming from, what is your soul?
What part of the story is yet to be told?
When love should be warm, why do I feel so cold?

You make me want you, make me love you,
Somehow I can't get enough
You drown me in your tender caress - what am I to think of love?
I don't want to end up fucked tonight.

You take me cruising, with you I fly
Just being with you is a natural high
I'm so lost, what must I know - to understand which way to go?

Tonight with you, I cringe, I fear
What happened to all that once was clear?
I want, I hope, I love, I cry
With you I know that I must try
I talk, I think, I act, I lie
Tonight.

2009-10-06T15:24:00.002-06:00

Here's another, less sappy, more angry, same guy. = )

"let go"

you tear me up inside, you promised me the world
through heaven you took me for a ride, but all your promises were really lies

i am left alone and searching, but can i trust another you?
i cannot stay here in hell, so i am racing away from you.
i've finally learned what i must do to let go...

all the times we had together, all my false securities
haunt me through my endless dreams, taking me through your impurities.
it's much too late - i am such hate - but now
i've got to rise above and let go.

i want to fly, so fast, so high; i want to see you bleed, to cry
you took my world away from me and left me with hell's reality

you leave me again each day i live, can i ever trust another you?
i cannot stay here in hell, so i am racing away from you
please tell me how i'm going to...let go.

you always love, you never love, but can i love without your love?
i've got to fly but blood drips down, you took everything i've ever known
no trust, no hope, no love, can't cope,
emotion black, sanity cracked,
let go.

Oh, the Melodrama of Teenage-hood

2009-10-06T15:17:00.002-06:00

I'm home sick and on a clean-up-my-desk kick and I ran across my little book of songwriting, bad poetry, etc. I will post a few for your amusement (and yes, I wrote in all lowercase thinking myself to be quite deep back in the mid-90s). As they say, puppy love sure feels real to the puppy! = )

"love"

i would just like to know what was going through your mind
was it a conscious decision when you left me behind?
you said i'm your girl looked me straight in the eye
but i could see through to the unspoken goodbye
now all i want to know is why...

you were my everything but now you're just a dream
a fading memory of what we once could be (in love)

i never should have let you touch me never let you reach my soul
you turned me into a heartless fool left me with this gaping hole
you tenderly took me by the hand you led me away to another land
you kissed me on the sandy shore
and all i wanted was one time more (for love)

now you have run not even glancing behind
you left our love for a different kind

you were my everything but now you're just a dream
a fading memory of what we once could be (in love)

(in love for you, i suffer, i cry
i never wanted to say goodbye...to you)

It's Been Too Long....

2009-03-26T09:31:00.002-06:00

Thank you, Sergio, for bringing my attention back to my blog. I'm a bad blog-mama and I've neglected this child! = (

But no more!

I Must Have Way Too Much Time On My Hands

2009-03-14T18:22:00.001-06:00

So I was scanning yelp.com for a drycleaner today, and some sick impulse made me read the reviews of Bob Chinn's.

I can't believe people really buy into the hype over there. So many people name-dropped about how the owner tells them blah blah or blah. I had to literally slap my hand to stop from posting my rebuttal. So I had to post it here instead.

My review of Chinn's, in a nutshell:

THE GOOD
-The hosts and most servers are extremely friendly and efficient. They have good practice after serving thousands of people each day!

-The food is fantastic and it is nice that the kitchen guarantees each dish. If you don't care for it, you can trade in for something else.

-The atmosphere is rather unique. There's always plenty of kitsch to stare at (not to mention the people-watching).

-There are some great specials, especially the late night bar menu. Steak burger for $3 anyone?

THE BAD
-it's a casual restaurant located near the North Shore cities. Translation = entitlement overload in Victoria's Secret "Pink" lounge pants, North Face fleece and UGG boots. Plus, I know of no other area outside the OC where parents instruct their 11 year olds to give the hosts hell about waiting for a table. Seriously.

-The owner speaking to you directly is a HUGE nuisance and should be avoided. He's a self-indulgent old man who talks AT you, nothing more. And then he overstays his welcome to boot.

-It's NOT worth a 2-3 hour wait. Get take-out.

-The prices are a little high (but in all fairness you pay for the fresh shipments, etc)

So overall, the food is good and you can enjoy yourselves if you keep to your own group. But you do not want to lump yourself in with the masses of asses (including the owner). And if you have any self-respect, don't work there. = )
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"I don't know whether it's something I lack or something extra I have which stops me..." -Ayn Rand's 'Fountainhead'

Done Deal!

2008-11-26T10:25:00.003-06:00

After many phone calls and forms, I am now officially known as Lori Arnecilla! Yay!

Our wedding was awesome. I can't believe how many people came out to enjoy the rainy day with us. Here is my very favorite shot from our Chicago photo session before the ceremony. As I finish sorting through all 600 of our professional shots, I will post a highlight reel on my Smugmug page.

Thank you everybody! I love being married! Marky rocks!

God Bless Vacay

2008-08-09T00:32:00.003-06:00

Despite Mark leaving me yesterday (to fly home for his bachelor party), this has been the best vacation ever. I'm just northeast of Seattle and loving it.

While Mark was here we accomplished the following:

- Spent quality time with my cousin and his new wife
- Hiked 8 miles up a mountain to a hidden waterfall
- Procured an IN-STOCK iPhone 3G for Mark
- Ate Dim Sum at the W Hotel (fancy!)
- Attended the wedding and enjoyed our new love of the Washington Apple shot
- Met Brits and Canadians and shepherding dogs over BBQ & Wii
- Saw a lock and dam in action and the "ladder" for salmon to get back upstream
- Rolled down a muddy hill with 6 year olds (well, Mark did. I stood there and laughed a lot.)
- Took 10 steps into Pike Place Market before promptly running away from the
crowds
- Ate fresh seafood at the waterfront
- Went on a speedboat and attempted to wakeboard (again, Mark did. I
took the pictures.)
- Saw orca whales and harbor seals on a tour of the San Juan Islands
- Drove over great bridges (and hiked down to get the pictures)
- BBQ'd with friends
- Spent a whole afternoon rock climbing in the mountains with a private guide
- Had yummy sparkling wine, succulent seafood, warm brownie dessert and
an excellent time hanging with a friend

When Mark left, I figured I needed to console myself, so I did these:

- Dressed like a pirate and went out for a sailboat race (while enjoying friendly banter with a Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow impersonator)

- Drove a 300-mile loop with my parents to see the wonders of the
Cascade mountains (and had perfect sunshine right up until the
hail!)

Whew! I'm taking a quick break from packing up. I fly home tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait to see all my furry babies at home, but it's been amazing. I almost hate to go back to real life. = )

To The Summit!

2008-05-12T16:41:00.003-06:00

Let the world be told....I am the happiest girl alive.

Mark proposed to me on Saturday (and of course, I said yes). It was romantic, it was at the top of a waterfall and it was PERFECT! = )

Yay for us!

Thought of the day (from on the road)

2008-03-30T12:55:00.000-06:00

If you pronounce "Passat" phonetically, it sounds remarkably close to "ass-hat". What a coincidence, Mr-Couldn't-Get-Off-My-Ass!
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Humor Me...

2008-03-25T09:14:00.001-06:00

I know I've been the master of the stupid quick quips lately, but I have another...

"Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Okay, you two, now I don't want you starting anything..."

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Joke of the Day

2008-03-25T09:08:00.001-06:00

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

A: Fo' Drizzle

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! = )

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Quote of the Day

2008-03-25T08:49:00.001-06:00

"He had two little stubby eyebrows like very small fish swimming bravely in a great sea of face.". HA!

-from "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell" by Susanna Clarke
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A Day From Electronic Hell

2008-03-24T21:54:00.002-06:00

So my iPod and my laptop both died today. Needless to say, I was devastated. Until I remembered that I'm an eternal optimist (I just forgot for the smallest moment there!)...

I found out that my iPod still functions, but the display is fried. So, by memory, I was able to scroll to a few certain playlists and enjoy my tunes. Then, I promptly ordered a replacement screen. Hell, I've already torn into the iPod to replace the hard drive. What's another minor surgery? I disassembled it to mourn the lost LCD and renamed the damn thing "FrankenPod."

Then, I took my screwdriver to my laptop. Woo hoo! I dug around a bit and removed the hard drive. I think it has some life left in it, despite my complete inability to boot Windows, even in Safe Mode. And, of course, my computer is older than dirt and Betty White put together. I have no way to boot from disk or network or anything. Next step: use an external casing to see if any data on my hard drive is intact.

Until I can afford a new computer (which is NOT in my foreseeable future), I will actually live without one. Well, sort of. There are 2 others in my house. Going to the next bedroom to compute is not exactly third-world conditions, I suppose.

And I still have my Blackberry... You didn't think it would be that easy to unplug me, did you? = )

Quote of the Day

2008-03-24T09:28:00.001-06:00

Jim Teatch for Newsweek:

"Even at $100 a barrel, oil is still cheaper than a Starbucks latte."

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Thought of the Day

2008-03-21T17:51:00.001-06:00

Am I the only one who feels guilty when I realize that I'm wearing lace panties in church? = )
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Thought of the Day

2008-03-11T13:24:00.001-06:00

I love people who wear reading glasses and have 2 pairs on simultaneously...one on the face and one on top of the head (that they most likely forgot about). Ha!

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Thought of the Day

2008-03-09T21:23:00.000-06:00

Is it considered cannibalism if a stupid person eats a Ding-Dong? Hmmm....

= )

Best Joke Ever

2008-02-02T10:38:00.001-06:00

Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

A: Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan...

Ha!

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Look Ma, I'm A Movie Star!

2008-02-02T10:20:00.001-06:00

So I'm back in the hospital after another acute mystery attack.

This morning, they had me swallow a camera capsule that takes 8 hours of footage of my entire GI tract. Yippee!

That's a pretty impressive breakout role, wouldn't you say? = )

The best part is that I have to wear a "belt" that holds the data receiver. The receiver itself is like a thicker version of a TV remote, but the "belt?"

It's like a fireman's belt complete with suspenders! It's pretty much a hot mess of black velcro and elastic straps, designed in a super-wide width that would put last season's corset belts to shame. Think Olympic weight trainer meets the fanny pack.

Of course, this procedure is usually done outpatient, so they strap people up and send them about their daily business. I can't imagine going around the world in this thing!

You'd be stopped by every cop to find out why you are strapped to a blinking object. And you'd be recruited for 20 lumberjack positions in the first hour alone.

Sheesh. It's bad enough we can't figure me out. But to force me into lumberjack mode? That's just cruel... = )

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How I Hate You, Kate

2008-01-30T14:48:00.001-06:00

I swear.... I have had it up to here with "Kate", my friendly Osco pharmacist.

I highly doubt that any pharmacists use simple nicknames like the bagger on the Jewel side. They earned their PharmD degrees and go by full professional names. Not Tim, but Dr. Timothy Schmo.

Also, they show us images of "Kate" helping an elderly person weigh what appears to be a bag of potatoes. Now answer me this...how many pharmacists have you ever seen wandering the produce aisle?

Not to mention that unwashed produce is hardly clean' but "Kate" just walks on through, picking up God only knows what germs on her white labcoat. Yummy. E Coli with that Viagra anyone?

I also hate that US Cellular commercial where the poor confused dad is all alone because his daughter went off to college. So his cellular representative helps him read his bank statements and pay his bills? C'mon....enough is enough.

We get that you're friendly (or claim to be). But don't try to tell me we will actually become _friends_.

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Daaaamn...You Busted, Boy!

2008-01-21T15:10:00.000-06:00

In my favorite weird news story around Christmastime, a Chinese sportscaster was publicly exposed as a cheating bastard by his wife.

Hu Ziwei, wife of popular newscaster Zhang Bin, literally hijacked a press conference discussing the Beijing Olympics and told the world, "Mr. Zhang Bin is having an illicit relationship with a woman other than me."

You go, girl. You don't have to take that.

Find Your Happy Weight

2008-01-21T15:05:00.000-06:00

This month, SELF magazine is helping women to find their "Happy Weight," a number that suits your height and frame size, and should help us avoid unrealistic expectations.

My Happy Weight is 130. I won't tell you how far away I am from that, but it was nice to see I'm not expected to get back down to my high school weight of 122.

Calculate your own Happy Weight here.

I Hate To Admit It But It's True...

2008-01-20T12:15:00.000-06:00

...once you pop...

...you truly can't stop.

Damn you, Pringles! So much for my healthier 2008.

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Every now and again, for no reason at all, I need you...I need all of you!

2008-01-13T23:47:00.000-06:00

Many of you out there have jobs that seem pretty cushy to me. You make good salaries, and you have the choice of working from home.

And then there's my job as a teacher's aide for the handicapped. I am paid very little (by the taxpayers) and can't do my job unless I show up in Room 128.

But I am afforded one really great perk. Once per week we take a field trip into the "community". Basically, we take our educational lessons into new territory and allow our students to interact with the public. And last week we had the best trip ever...to the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart!

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the intended purpose of the trip. We were actually there to buy a bird feeder that went with an activity. But we passed by the bargain bin, and you can't blame a girl for looking!

I want to know what fool put "Labyrinth" in the same classification as Mad Max. But there it was. And I had to purchase it before Wal-Mart realized the error and gave it its proper due alongside "Fools Rush In" for $7.99 instead!

And I love Jareth the goblin king. I love Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus. I even love the little British worm that Wikipedia tells me is named William the Worm.

Yay for a masterpiece that still makes me smile 20 years later! (And I still can't figure out how they filmed the Aescher scene! It's wicked cool!)

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Sicko

2008-01-09T00:36:00.000-06:00

I finally got around to watching Sicko by Michael Moore. Phew!

I have known for a long time that I hate our healthcare system. And I'm one of the very lucky ones. My bills have never been denied, even though they have been hefty this last year.

When I look at my hospital charges, they are downright unbelievable. My "pharmacy" bill last time was over $3,000. I had no drugs. Just IV fluids for four days. You've got to be flipping kidding me. If I hadn't been insured, I would have been screwed.

And that's only one part of the lovely $22k total bill. Don't even ask me what my Sept. hospital bill looked like, with the surgery and all. I'll just say that I'm starting to get nervous about my policy's lifetime maximum benefit.

But enough about me...

The stories in this movie are inarguably tragic. Insured people dying as procedures are declared experimental or not medically necessary should never happen.

One thing that got me was the medical benefits being extended to the terrorist prisoners at Guantanimo Bay. I think we _are_ obliged to treat our prisoners well. But it's sad when it turns out _better_ than the care we give our own citizens.

And the politician turned healthcare CEO...with a 2 million dollar signing bonus... That just shouldn't happen.

The overwhelming reaction I had is that America is retarded. We are concerned about the _image_ that we put forth care and concern. But not so much with the follow through or the actual caring business. We are fake. Like a giant nationwide "Prado."

I don't necessarily think, as Michael Moore does, that socialized medicine is the answer. But if the industry may profit, we need limits. If politicians are bought with lobby money, we need to know about it.

In other words, we need to give a damn. Don't you think?

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Yay! The Biggest Losers Rock!

2007-12-19T01:47:00.000-06:00

All I'm saying is the twins KICKED ASS!

I'm so proud. Even though I wanted a woman to win, I'm glad it was the two of them.

They each lost a Lori's worth of weight. Whoa.

Soulja Boy & Soldier Men

2007-12-17T23:21:00.000-06:00

I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel old. I feel ancient when I realize an entire generation of teenagers have learned dance steps by watching YouTube and dancing along. Our generation had to attend lame school dances to pick up the Macarena and the Boot Scootin' Boogie.

But on to the real point...I read a funny article about soldiers (true ones) who find new uses for common items in the field. Among my favorites:

1. Squirt some Silly String across a room to detect trip-wired explosives.

2. Stretch socks over the tops of your boots to keep out the scorpions and spiders. (I'm so going to do this next time I go camping!)

3. If you suffer a bullet wound, plug it with a tampon. Perfect fit, according to the soldiers.

Now it takes a REAL Superman to recognize his need to carry a tampon. = )

And, of course, more seriously, a true Superman to serve in the first place.

Yes! Amen, Brother!

2007-11-17T20:18:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, my frustration with the politics of religion and church life have been a sticking point for me in the last couple of years.

In the voice of pure reason, Michael Gerson of Newsweek writes the following.

"Evangelicals, particularly younger evangelicals, are undergoing a shift in attitudes. Many have little interest in the self-destructive purity of the prophet [referring to James Dobson] or the raw pragmatism of the kingmaker [referring to Pat Robertson]. They remain culturally conservative, but uncomfortable with a harshly judgmental tone in their politics. They find the model of the religious right too narrow and are increasingly motivated by a broader range of social concerns, from disease in Africa, to the environment, to racial reconciliation. And they want to be a witness to these values instead of a tool in the power games of others."

I'm tired of statistics implying that I vote and otherwise consider the world in the same perspective as some of the old fogeys of the faith. We may share the facts and underlying convictions, but we are far from one mind politically.

Full article here.

Free At Last

2007-11-15T15:45:00.000-06:00

I'm now headed home from the hospital. Despite my not-so-clean bill of health, I ought to be able to recover at home and follow up as an outpatient.

I am so happy to get the heck out of this place. I hope it's once and for all, though I know I have still have much of the journey ahead.

Now on with the healthy body already!

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Yay me! (update)

2007-11-15T07:23:00.000-06:00

So I have multiple areas of hemmorhaging in my stomach. I have an abnormal duodenum and I'm full of ulcers from top to bottom.

Why am I cheering for this dysfunctional body, you ask?

This is the closest I've been to answers in my entire lifetime. Keep in mind that I have had mysterious autoimmune problems for 18 years now. And mostly, it's been me complaining of symptoms that nobody else can see. But now they see something!

Also I'm cheering for pancakes. On a plate. In front of me. As we speak.

This is all a very big deal for a girl who hasn't eaten in 8 days and who has had a lifetime of unanswered questions.

So I'll say it again. Yay me!

Stay tuned...
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Me...what am I good for?

2007-11-15T00:20:00.001-06:00

I'm now enjoying my FIFTH visit to Lutheran General Hospital. Same pains, same frustration, same lack of answers...sorta.

We might be on to something. I dare not hope for much, but in a full upper/lower GI scope today we discovered lovely little ulcers. Lots of them. Which was not entirely surprising as we've seen some before.

But apparently I have ulcers all the way up into my small bowel where ulcers are not so commonly seen. They biopsied everything they found curious. And now _I_ am curious.

Stay tuned...now that I have a BlackBerry (or more accurately a BubuBerry) I'll report from bed when I can.

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I'll Get By With A Little Help From My Marky

2007-11-04T12:27:00.000-06:00

So I've been working 7 days a week...not by choice, mind you. Bob Chinn's keeps "using" me for an on-call shift on Saturdays lately. So my total work hours are at about 70 hours per week. And I'm exhausted. Literally, every free moment I have, I am dreaming about crawling into bed.

I had a birthday a week ago and the only thing I wanted was a good night's sleep. So my sweet Marky made me comfort food (grilled cheese & tomato soup with a gourmet cheese and wine selection to start it off) and promptly kissed me goodnight. And I was out. It was the best.

But then, I had another whopper of a week. I was back to full exhaustion by this weekend. So Marky let me sleep in and when I woke up, there was breakfast! This time, he made a spinach and cheese omelet and had a yummy fruity granola cereal.

I don't know how I would be surviving right now if not for Marky helping me de-stress. How we love you, Marky!

Battlefield Lori

2007-10-08T12:57:00.000-06:00

Yucky me.

Yet another hospital visit and an abdominal surgery behind me, I'm still hanging tough.

But I haven't had the energy to write much. Or talk much. Or much of anything.

And irritatingly, we still have no answers. My body does its own thing and nobody can understand it.

Even after removing a laundry list of tissue samples from my insides, I prove to be "normal" except for a white blood cell count about 5 times that of a normal human.

Sometimes I swear I'm the link between modern humans and the X-Men. But my mutation causes me pain, not super-powers. Dammit! = )

Viggo & David...Together Again

2007-09-10T16:59:00.000-06:00

Anybody else terribly excited that Viggo Mortensen is pairing up with David Cronenberg (director of "A History of Violence") again?

I hear it's brutal. And bloody. And naked.

I'm there.

You Tell 'Em, Jonathan Alter

2007-09-10T16:41:00.000-06:00

In Newsweek this week, there is an op-ed piece by Jonathan Alter, ripping on the Republican party for claiming they hold "family values" and running on such platforms. However, more Reps are involved in scandals, sexual and otherwise, than Dems.

So he gives them this advice...

"To expand the party in the new century, Republicans will eventually have to lift their suffocating veil of sanctimony. First and foremost for politicians of every stripe are vision, competence and commitment to a particular set of social and economic ideas, not some claim of moral superiority every bit as noxious as garden-variety hypocrisy."

Awwww, yeah.

Why I Relate To Fred Thompson

2007-09-10T16:36:00.000-06:00

I'll admit I'm behind this year. I haven't read enough about any candidates to know what's going on. I see only the media hype, which I take with a grain of salt.

But I learned a cool factoid about Fred Thompson. In his high school yearbook, the epitaph next to his picture read...

"The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow."

I knew that us procrastinators were destined for glory...eventually. = )

Once Again, They Argue That They Meant Well

2007-09-10T16:23:00.000-06:00

Ahh, politicians.

Did you know that the National Do-Not-Call list in which you were THRILLED to participate only lasts for a few years?

There is a five-year expiration from the date that you opted out of tele-hell.

But the government says it was necessary to "purge the list" of Americans who have moved or changed numbers. So, an expiration was needed.

As I usually say in regards to stupid legislation...WTF? There must be a better way.

I understand that if Joe Blow ends up with your old telephone number and is DYING to receive more calls, he might be disappointed that you had registered the number as a Do-Not-Call. But, really, is anybody going to opt in?

The only reason the list does not include every man, woman, dog & tree in America is because some people don't read and didn't know about the list. I love how politicians interpret this as a desire to receive as many sales calls as possible.

Larry Craig is arrested for soliciting sex. Excellent. Now let's start going after the bastards who solicit credit protection.

Best Quote Ever

2007-09-10T16:20:00.000-06:00

Regarding the FEMA rule that New Orleans may receive funds for sewer systems to be built up "only as they were" and not with upgraded, more modern equipment.

"President Bush came down here and said we were going to bring back the Gulf Coast...better than before. But I think he forget to talk to FEMA." --Junior Rodriguez, resident & president of St. Bernard Parish in New Orleans

Now Experiencing...Steubenville

2007-08-16T10:03:00.000-06:00

I helped my good friend Lisa move to Steubenville, Ohio yesterday. Steubenville is WAAAAAAY east and just across the river from West Virginia.

The two of us drove a 14' U-Haul truck (and towed Lisa's car on the trailer behind it) for about 12 hours. With only 30 minutes of sleep, no less.

Then we unloaded the car trailer, disconnected it ourselves and unloaded the truck with only one helper.

We rock!

The Bliss Of Summer

2007-08-01T10:55:00.000-06:00

Ahhh...to sleep until 11 a.m. In my own bed, no less.

I'm officially done house-sitting and I have a few more weeks of summer vacation to catch up on life, paperwork, laundry and fun. Preferrably not in that order, though. = )

I'm most looking forward to my upcoming travels. I have friends getting married in Seattle, and I am helping Lisa move to Ohio.

Which brings about my SUPER important question for you, my loyal readers. Because you are out there, right?

What songs do you think are crucial to include on a 12-hour drive playlist?

If I agree, you'll win a something-or-other. I still have garage sale leftovers. Heh heh.

Is It Just Me?

2007-07-26T23:12:00.000-06:00

Or is being in love terrifying, even when it's reciprocated?

Every once in a while, I realize how vulnerable I feel. Some days (read: PMS days), I feel like nobody could love my quirks. I'm clumsy and I talk too much. I can't save a penny to save my soul. I am terrible at keeping up with my closest friends.

So, I somehow convince myself that Mark only loves me because he doesn't yet realize what an utter freak I am. I brace myself for the day when I will be found out and exposed. I'm too friggin' imaginative, and I can even picture the look of disappointment on his face. Argh. I hate that thought. Shut up, girl-brain.

Granted, most days I have less estrogen raging through my system, and I am much more secure than this. Most days, I know Mark loves me for being me the same way I love him for being him (not because he hangs with Leonardo or that guy who played in Fargo, I think his name is Steve...ha ha). He laughs at my quirks in the good way, and even humors some of my most ridiculous rants about life and mountain-climbing. "To the summit!" = )

But tonight, I made the mistake of combining my estrogen-fueled girl-brain and the lyrics of sappy songs that show a desperate yearning for a lifetime together. So, suddenly, I feel desperate for reassurance. That I am normal. That I am loved. That I, as Carrie Fisher would say, "will never have to be out there again."

Putting yourself and your heart "out there" is the awful necessity of forging a relationship, I think. The sacrifice of personal security and control is what makes it all worthwhile.

Where there was me, there is still me. But there is also a me that is climbing full-steam ahead toward the lifetime of us. I'm so glad my companion keeps climbing with me. I just hope the parka hides my freaknesses and weaknesses. = )

Resurrection & The Life Everlasting (Lasting For Now, At Any Rate)

2007-07-22T22:51:00.000-06:00

I just realized I never updated you about my iPod situation. And I'm sure your troubled mind was worried sick. Never mind my lost vocal cords or my gastrointestinal distress. I know you. You weren't sleeping at night for worrying about my iPod. So the story goes...

It died.

Then it came back.

Not miraculously, mind you, unless you count $140 and some manual labor as divine intervention.

I was able to purchase a new hard drive and install it myself. Take that, Mac Geniuses. I can hang out at my own bar, thank you very much.

And now the performance and reliability ARE, in fact, divine.

The Look of Celebrity

2007-07-22T22:28:00.000-06:00

As you may have already gathered, we get many an athlete or celebrity in Bob Chinn's Crabhouse. Tonight, a new Bears player came in.

Of course, I've never heard of him. Never seen him before. But I knew he must be a somebody.

I knew because of his lady friend. She looked like athlete's girlfriends tend to look. Teeny-tiny waist, shrink-wrapped cami and teased-up blonde hair. But above all these things...she had the walk.

The stiletto strut that said, "I'm with a VIP."

*Sigh* Ridiculous.

We are ALL somebodies. But I guess you need the perfect pair of Manolos and the mad cling-to-my-hunky-arm-candy skills to declare it properly.

You go, girl. We're impressed.

Whoever the hell you are.

= )

The Original iPhone (circa 1983)

2007-07-22T11:52:00.000-06:00

Check this out via MethodShop.

Wicked cool. I bet Mike Shintani had one.

Misc Updates

2007-07-22T11:45:00.000-06:00

Despite having been in constant battle with my body since January (3 hospital visits so far), I'm in good spirits. Why, you ask? Because I'm on summer vacation.

This was especially delightful as I was able to reread the entire Harry Potter series prior to the final book's release. Then, I finished the last book in one day. Only on vacation can I hole myself up and be so lazy. = )

Of course, I'm a bit ashamed of how little I've accomplished during my vacation so far, but oh well. I've cleaned a lot and prepared for our upcoming garage sale. That was no small feat, since we're moving furniture and sorting the contents of my grandmother's belongings at the same time.

The worst part of vacation so far has been a mystery problem with my vocal cords. I literally can not sing. Most of you know what torture that is. No shower singing. No band performances. No singing with my guitar by the campfire. I feel like a little piece of my soul is missing. But I have another appointment this week and I'm hopeful that we can start to get to the bottom of it.

Enough on the health front...bring on the fun posts!

MEmorial Day

2007-05-27T21:16:00.000-06:00

So tomorrow will be my first day off in...well, at least a few months. I made ZERO commitments to anybody, anything or *at long last* any of my jobs.

I'm not even beginning to think about what I want to do or need to do. I am going to wing the entire day. And I'm going to love it.

Hooray! Go me!

99 Luftballoons (or 53 ways to stow your seat)

2007-05-26T06:52:00.000-06:00

Hooray for Marky! He just got a new Honda Element, and I've never seen a car more suited to a person.

Did you know that the entire interior of the car (except the stereo console) can be hosed down and cleaned? Three muddy dogs? No problem. Sandy beach feet? No problem.

As the car salesman told us, this car was built for messy folks. And to those who have seen Mark's Jeep, you know he needed this. = )

I also love the 53 different seat arrangements. It's way cool that the back seats fold up all the way to the side, or recline all the way underneath the back moonroof so you can camp right from the back of your car.

But the reason I give this car 99 big heart-filled luftballoons is for the built-in Aux jack for my iPod and it's 7 speaker arrangement. And for the fact that Mark chose the orange one.

Very Sad News

2007-05-26T06:43:00.000-06:00

My 60 GB iPod Photo (the King of it's two-day heyday before the iPod Video came out) has officially died a groaning, grinding death. And it was my fault.

The student I work with loves music and gets to listen to a discman at school for a reward. Once a week, our class goes out on a field trip, and I just bring his headphones and my iPod, because it's smaller to carry. I have the same album he likes on CD, and it's never been a problem. We've done this since January.

But yesterday, he had a bit of an emotional outburst and slammed my iPod (with all the force of a 16 year old's angst) into the ground. And it worked no more.

I got the power to come on one final time, but it was like William Wallace crying out his last "Freedom!" One final grinding noise and then THWUMP. Nothingness.

Note to self:
Valuable Electronics + Angry Autistic Kid = one hell of a bad idea, Lori.

You live, you learn. (And you prepare to buy the 80 GB upgrade anyway)

WTF?

2007-05-06T10:53:00.000-06:00

What's with both Sark and Francie showing up on Grey's? Introduced in the same episode, no less?

Crazy.

If Only It Worked On Sand

2007-05-05T19:09:00.000-06:00

Check out the new Cruzin Cooler.

I love this idea...but you'd need it for a beach, right? Am I wrong here? Why would I need a street cooler?

Tell me what you think.

Inspiration for Mothers Everywhere...and the rest of us too!

2007-05-05T18:51:00.000-06:00

I read a traditional Ethopian folk story today. I loved it.

"A woman asks a wise man to create a potion that will make her stepson love and accept her. The wise man tells her to bring him three hairs from a lion's tail.

Every day, the woman goes to the stream where the lion drinks, and she waits, moving a little closer to him every time.

Finally, one day, she sits next the the lion. He lets her stroke his back. She plucks three hairs from his tail and returns to the wise man.

'If you can pluck three hairs from the tail of a lion,' he says, 'you have all the courage and patience you will ever need to love and be loved.'"

Just When You Thought Your Boss Was Awful...

2007-05-05T17:22:00.000-06:00

I truly thought I had one of the worst managers ever when I worked for a certain Chicagoland bank. She was crass, rude, overly confrontational and nitpicky and wanted to micromanage every last detail of your working life.

But I guess I had it easy.

Yesterday, a department store in the U.K. notified its staff that the store was going under and they were all unemployed. How did they choose to approach this sensitive message? They pulled the fire alarm to get all of the employees in one large, outdoor area. Then, they broke the news to the stunned crowd.

Tacky, much?

Catching Up On Life

2007-04-29T22:21:00.000-06:00

So, I've been conspicuously absent lately, and I apologize.

I found myself thinking that I really don't work enough, so I added a third job to my life's pursuits.

I now wake up each morning and drive about a half-hour away from my job (which is five minutes from my house). I park at the home of an elementary student from my school. I ride the bus with him and carefully monitor any seizure activity. I am also there to provide any oral suctioning that he might need.

Then, of course, I arrive at school and provide my normal assistance to the classroom. After school, I ride the bus home with the student and get in my own car. Most nights, I then drive straight to my evening job.

Add in my house-sitting and my band, and I'm one busy girl! Six more weeks until school is out, and then things will slow down a little. I hope.

Yo Momma

2007-04-29T22:11:00.000-06:00

Have you heard about the Yo Momma Vocabulary Builder?

This hysterical book promises to increase your mental store of five-dollar words in a context you'll be sure to remember...

"Yo momma's so emaciated, she can hula hoop in a fruit loop."
or
"Yo momma's so corpulent, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up."

Hee hee. I am definitely a word-nerd, but who wouldn't adore this concept?
Here's my own..."Yo momma's so peurile she puts lipstick on her forehead just to make up her mind."

Put your own in the comments!

Sock Hop For A New Generation

2007-04-29T22:00:00.000-06:00

So apparently, over-indulgent parents have one more focus: "Tot Discos".

Some dance clubs that serve the barely-dressed, drunk crowd by night have opened their doors to toddlers during the day. Juice bars and live music allow children to wiggle, squirm and dance their cares away.

There are many bands who provide the live entertainment for such venues. One is called the "Sippy Cups." Another, the "The Terrible Twos." And my personal favorite: "The Dirty Sock Funtime Band."

I can't wait to have a kid.

The Only Thing I'll Say About Don Imus...I Promise

2007-04-29T21:47:00.000-06:00

I despise media frenzy. But I loved this quote (from Newsweek again):

"One does not have to be a raving racist to have racially restricted vision - as Imus clearly does. In too many cases, it seems Imus sees blacks that he does not know personally as something other than complete human beings - as things that can be dissed and dismissed without his having to know anything more about them than the color of their skin."

Racially Restricted Vision. I think this should be added to the list of known diseases.

Deep Thought (in tribute to VT)

2007-04-29T21:24:00.000-06:00

I read the following quote in a Newsweek article by Sharon Begley:

"The US is a nation of immigrants. Those who choose to pull up stakes and try their luck in a distant land "have energy and are willing to take risks" says psychologist John Gartner of Johns Hopkins U. For most immigrants, that translates into a spark and drive that lead them to success in their adopted land. For a few, however, risk taking coupled with impulsivity may set the stage for violence, Gartner says, "and you do see more violence in immigrant nations like Australia and America".

If barriers of language or culture keep an immigrant child from fitting in, it can increase the risk that he will become alienated and, given enough triggers, resort to violence..."

I'm not sure that I buy the idea that this is primarily a racial/cultural issue. But I certainly know that giving in to feelings of isolation is a dangerous game. I am not a violent, crazy person. But I can look back to junior high and remember a time when I felt it was me against the world.

I won't lie. At that time, I used to write hateful, "I want to kill everyone" poetry one minute and self-loathing, "the world should hate me because I am so worthless" poetry the next. And I'm sure I'm not the only one with such emotional turmoil in my past.

Thank God we grow up. Thank God we find friends who prove our fears wrong and show us that we are valuable. Thank God we can look back and realize how out-of-touch with reality we were in those times.

How awful for those who never get to that point. The human soul isn't meant to be alone. It seems that perpetual alone-ness (and indulgence thereof) renders one virtually inhuman.

I think it's no coincidence that the first reaction people have is to a tragedy like this is to band together - to talk, to grieve, to support one another.

God bless you, Virginia Tech.

Bubble-icious

2007-04-29T09:12:00.000-06:00

If you know me, you know that I am a Christian. Granted, I'm not a very good one. I don't go to church regularly and I don't currently participate in any proper small groups, bible studies or exclusive social functions. This is primarily because I have a few issues with what I call the Christian "bubble." Essentially, I love God himself, but I don't like the standards of conformity and isolation that are commonly found inside the "bubble". I think we need to live our faith and love others ALL around us. I'll save that thought for a longer conversation later.

Right now, the Christian bubble is totally making me laugh. Not in a bitter way. Just in an "are you serious?" way.

Have you heard of "GodTube" yet? It's a knock-off of YouTube, but with only certified and acceptable Christian content.

You can look up music videos of your favorite Christian band or footage of worship services from all over the world. You can review the speaker from your last retreat, or discover a new service.

I think this is an interesting concept and I'll bet that many bubblers out there are making use of it. But I'm giggling over the idea that we might soon see Christian LonelyGirl putting up her monkey's reading of Revelation. Hee hee.

Boo! Boo! Rubbish! The Tax Prep Is Rubbish!

2007-04-25T12:21:00.000-06:00

I just found out today that TurboTaxOnline, the convenience that they are, did NOT submit my federal return. They simply e-filed my state return.

I am 100% certain that this was not my error. I had to digitally sign with my five-digit number from last year. I verified my bank information for direct debit (since I owed money this year). I clicked on the stinking "E-FILE MY RETURN" button and followed the blah. You have to complete the federal before it even prompts you for the state e-file info. Which I got to. And submitted.

TurboTax charged me for their services. The state of Illinois took their money from me. I couldn't quite figure out why Uncle Sam didn't want his piece of the pie. So I called. And I was told that the federal e-file had not been submitted.

I am so pissed. Because I used the online product, I have no record of my keystrokes or submissions. As soon as I get home from work, I plan to scrutinize every e-mail or printout I saved.

Stay tuned for how I plan to fight back and not allow TurboTax to bend me over and expect me to take it nicely.

One and Done!

2007-04-11T21:43:00.000-06:00

Somebody passed the Illinois Bar Exam on the first try. (They say even JFK, Jr. took three tries to pass his Bar)

Somebody will be sworn in to practice law in May.

Somebody will continue to be my favorite ever.

Go, Marky! = )

Some Spring Break...

2007-03-28T13:15:00.000-06:00

I was so excited for my spring break this week. I picked up some extra hours at the Crabhole so I could make some money. I am cat-sitting, so I have lots of space to myself.

But then life happend. First...I got a massive muscle-knot in my neck. For two days I couldn't turn to the left. It was awful when I needed to turn right on a red light. I was truly a hazard to myself and others.

And then...I got sick. And now I'm feeling all alone just lying on a couch with a fever.

Yuck.

Wish Him Luck...

2007-02-21T23:43:00.000-06:00

Six days and counting for my poor Marky to sit for the BAR exam. Yucky. He's a brave man.

Call Me Sucka...

2007-02-19T09:12:00.000-06:00

I am officially a nerd. I caved and bought something that I saw on an infomercial. And we're not talking a $10 something like the Ove Glove.

This is the coolest thing ever, and I consider it money well spent.

I bought the Fluidity Barre, a nifty personal ballet barre with an attached exercise mat. The whole thing folds down flat for storage and takes less than a minute to do so.

The system also comes with DVDs, resistance bands and a dodgeball. I'm pretty sure they'll tell me why I need a dodgeball in the advanced video, but I haven't gotten that far yet.

This is a delightful at-home workout. I feel graceful and dancey, despite my as-of-late-rather-bulbous belly. I can feel incredible challenge in simple, small movements that use my own body weight for resistance.

The instructor, Michelle Austin, is not at all overbearing or condescending to beginners. She's really great.

Plus, I already owned a few DVDs of the Lotte Berk method and the Bar Method, which are similar (but advise you to use the back of your couch or other sturdy furniture). It's so much cooler to have a real barre, and I can tell a difference in my posture as I do the moves.

Call me Sucka if you want...I love my barre! Too bad I'm house-sitting for two weeks and didn't feel like transporting the 60-lb thing with me. Back to my old "Core Secrets" for now.

Yay Me!

2007-02-19T09:09:00.000-06:00

So far, I've eaten healthy and worked out for FIVE whole days in a row. (Thanks to my excitement over my new gimmick - see previous post!) That's a good stretch for me, especially since my family likes to sabatoge and/or ridicule my attempts.

Today will be my ultimate test. I'm meeting friends who will be eating take-out Chinese. I will be bringing a turkey sandwich & yogurt. Just for the Asian flavor, I might have to bring Mandarin oranges as well. = )

And I Thought The iDog Idea Was Stupid...

2007-02-19T09:03:00.000-06:00

In the era of retail insanity where every company has tried their hand at a kitschy iPod accessory, I think this one deserves an award for being the most useless.

Check out The iPod TP Holder.

For only $80, you can enhance "your experience". Hee hee.

I Thought I Was a Gadget Geek

2007-02-08T00:41:00.000-06:00

Check out the Pet Cell.

Dream on, Harley. Even I wouldn't go this far.

Severe Superbowl Suckage

2007-02-05T08:30:00.000-06:00

I, like every Chicagoan, was very disappointed to see our Bears lose. But I still believe in the heart of the team, if not their turnover stats.

I'm confident Rex will one day play like an experienced pro. I'm confident that our defense will find themselves again. I'm confident that every game next year won't be like watching people run across the lawn with a slippery water balloon.

But I surprised myself by feeling ever so slightly (emphasis on the slightly) sympathetic for Tank Johnson. He lost a friend, he's been exposed as a dumb-ass thug and then he had to beg for permission to join his team at the Superbowl. He's had a damn lot of disappointment in the last few months. And then the Bears lost.

Tank will have to go home to more court dates and possible jail time. I know he was hoping to show off that Superbowl Ring in the slammer. Poor guy's got nothing now.

A few side comments:

Why the hell was Prince wearing a scarf on his head? And couldn't he have tied it doo-rag style in the back instead of Minnie Mouse style in the front? The best was when it flew off his head in the wind and rain and his hair looked awful. I like Prince, but that head scarf was NOT a good idea.

Plus, what was with his dancers? The two girls in black had NO choreography as far as I could tell. I've seen better dancing out of drunken barroom girls when my band plays. And the backup singer? The White Wonder? Anyone want to tell her that spandex bermuda shorts with knee high boots is not a good idea?

Hats off to the Doritos "Checkout Girl" commercial. The girl who came up with the concept and entered the competition is originally from the Aurora area. You go, girl! It was perfect advertising. It showcased the product, caught viewers' attention and had a subtle, ambiguous sexual implication. You know marketing must include sex to work, right? So they say. But it definitely worked here. I laughed and chomped a handful of Doritos myself.

So long, Superbowl XLI. The dream was nice, but the reality...not so much. Let's try again next year, boys.

I Am A Sucker

2007-02-03T15:31:00.000-06:00

I just ordered an infomercial product for the first time ever. Well...I guess I have purchased infomercial items before if you count the "As Seen On TV" section at Walgreens. = )

I ordered the "Fluidity" exercise barre and DVDs. As a one-time pseudo-dancer, I have always loved graceful or choreographed movements over small, isolated movements.

The Fluidity barre is like a personal ballet studio barre. It's about four feet long and folds flat for convenience. The infomercial showed all sorts of dancy, fun movements and graceful squats. I decided to revisit my poseur-dance days.

I will let y'all know how it goes, and when I'm ready to pull my ballet slippers from the top of my closet. I don't think the miniature pieces of pink leather could manage my cow-like frame at the moment. But soon, if all goes well! = )

Best Superbowl Bet

2007-02-03T12:47:00.000-06:00

Thanks to a Lisa G, I learned about a clever Chicago/Indy bet.

"So the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago and the Indianapolis Zoo have a bet going for the Superbowl. If the Bears win, the Indianapolis Zoo people have to come and clean our bear cage/house/area. If the Colts win, our Zoo peeps have to go clean out their horse stable/cage/house."

I love it.

I'm Done!

2007-02-03T11:15:00.000-06:00

When I completed my "Rock on Television" course in December, I finalized my Bachelor of Arts degree from Columbia College Chicago.

Of course, I have learned never to trust Columbia's administration, so I didn't believe it until today.

My academic record officially shows my degree being awarded on 12/16/06. Woo hoo!

Naturally, Columbia wouldn't waste money printing diplomas in January, so I must wait until June to have something to frame. But at least I can finally accept everyone's congratulations from four years ago. Thank you all for your support!

Tee Hee Superbowl Style

2007-02-03T10:32:00.000-06:00

I heard a good one. The COLTS can:

Count
On
Losing
The
Superbowl

GO BEARS!!!

Don't Forget!

2007-02-03T09:45:00.000-06:00

Pre-orders are now available for the final Harry Potter book through both Amazon.com and BN.com.

It will be released on July 21.

I find this torturous. The final wait, plus knowing this will end the series.

If You Were Me...

2007-02-03T09:08:00.000-06:00

...you would have undergone the following things so far in 2007.

You would have been moved from your job in a comfortable classroom with a team of both staff and students that you love. You would have been inserted into a new classroom to focus on one particular student - a highly autistic, sometimes aggressive, teenaged boy who likes to bolt out of the classroom.

You would have been extremely thankful that you invested in quality running shoes last year. You would continuously call this move a "new adventure" to make yourself feel better.

You also would have missed two weeks of work (both jobs) while miserably sick and hospitalized. But, upon returning to the restaurant, you would have received personal assurances from five Bears players that they would win Superbowl XLI.

You also would have watched your beloved Mr. Wonderful graduate from law school! You would wake up every day feeling proud of him as he studies for the BAR exam. (And then you would feel guilty for drooling and being jealous of his new MacBookPro - He earned it!)

You would have seen "Disney Princesses On Ice" and enjoyed watching your students stay more focused than you have every seen them before. Then, you would have thought to yourself, "I have the coolest job ever."

You would already regret the recent weeks of 2007 that you haven't stayed in better touch with people you love.

You would have found yourself unspeakably glad to be blogging at home instead of outside in the 7 degree air with a windchill of 20 below.

And you would also find yourself unspeakably glad that you have leftover gyros in the fridge. = )

Tee Hee

2007-02-03T09:03:00.000-06:00

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible. I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

He never heard the shot....

...And All I Want Is World Peace

2007-01-13T21:38:00.000-06:00

I have been a fan of PostSecret for ages. I am so often moved by the raw emotions of others.

The premise is that anybody can mail in a postcard with an anonymous secret. People reveal abuse, admiration, betrayals and secret loves with strangers who would read them. The secrets are published online once a week.

On the blog, they have printed an amazing quote, though the source is appropriately unnamed.

"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world."

Amen.

Back Among The Living....Sort Of

2007-01-13T21:27:00.000-06:00

I am pleased to report that I returned home from the hospital today.

For those who might not know, I was admitted on Tuesday with mysterious and severe abdominal pain. Turns out I had rampant intestinal bacteria. Not just that, but I had an inflamed pancreas to boot. Lovely, eh?

Ever the optimist, I was determined to make the best of it. I figured I had a few relaxing days and some awesome bruise-scars where idiot nurses couldn't stick my veins for blood, yet dug around as if needle-bobbing for blood-apples.

Turns out the bright side is plenty restful, indeed.

I am officially ordered to maintain "limited human contact" while I complete the antiobiotic treatment. Translation: I can neither work (either job) nor venture into public places for ten more days.

I can finally empathize with those poor Ebola peeps.

My New Guilty Pleasure

2007-01-03T20:14:00.000-06:00

I am currently watching the season premiere of Beauty & The Geek. Having never seen the show before, I didn't know what to expect, besides good distraction from my laundry.

Imagine my delight when I heard a Geek share a new pick-up line that he learned at MIT: "Hey, baby. I wish I was sine-squared and you were cosine-squared. Together we could be one." He's a smooooooooth operator, that one. = )

Plus, one of the girls thinks that her Geek's favorite show is "StarTruck". Hee hee. This show is great.

Chivalry Lives

2006-12-28T22:01:00.000-06:00

I realize I'm a little older than the typical first-timer at Medieval Times. But I went there tonight in order to celebrate my mom's birthday. And you know what? I had fun.

I thought the "Hall of Arms" and all the money-eating activities there were kind of corny. I found the concept of being herded around irritating, although a quick vodka-cranberry in a strobe-flashing cup helped somewhat. But once we were seated in the main area, it was much cooler than I expected.

I knew that the knights would compete, but I didn't realize that for most of the dinner, you get to watch both the knights and horses participate in "sport". I am always impressed by horses, having no personal experience with them. They are majestic, beautiful creatures and I have immediate respect for those who care for them and can ride them well.

Then, when the knights actually started fighting, I thought it be all be on horseback. But they had awesome stage-combat on foot. The fake swords were lined with flint or something, so all the metal-clanking blows produced sparks as well. It was quite amazing, actually.

This whole experience actually made me miss my theater days quite a bit. I miss performing in costume. Maybe I'll apply to be the princess. At the very least, I'm sure I'd make a great wench. Heaving bosoms, I got. I'll show that kingdom how to knock out a knight. = )

Priceless

2006-12-13T16:54:00.001-06:00

Warning: This is crass, but hysterical.

I know that spoof Mastercard sayings have been many, but this is actually very well done.

The Mouse Ate My Money

2006-12-12T21:08:00.000-06:00

Yay, Disneyworld! It was awesome!

The wedding was perfectly beautiful and joyous. The parks were fun. Our Mighty Ducks comforter was super. Everything was a great time.

The hotel and park admissions were paid before we arrived. We had two major dinners organized and paid for as part of the wedding festivities. Inter-Disney transport is complimenary.

So how did I end up spending almost $350 for a few days? I didn't buy clothing or any other souvenirs. I simply bought food and drinks.

I am currently rubbing my belly as if it's made of gold.

Eureka! A perfect find!

2006-12-03T23:26:00.000-06:00

You may know that I am a bit of a shopaholic. The Internet is a wonderful thing for us wannabe fashionistas. Enter Bluefly.com. They offer designer items for less than half the price (which can still be quite pricey, though).

I was panicked about what to wear to a wedding this coming weekend. I had no luck trying on dresses in the stores because everything is holiday-oriented.

I found this fabulous BCBG-Max Azria dress on Bluefly and ordered it. It fits me perfectly and looks fantastic. I am going to be what's happening (besides the wedding, of course) in Florida. Woo hoo!

Mr. Wonderful

2006-11-29T20:59:00.000-06:00

MentalFloss has pointed me to yet another cool website. This one lets you use "dynamic imaging" to personalize famous photographs.

I created this one for my very own hottie. His name is Roni. Mark-a-roni. = )

More Bond Appreciation

2006-11-29T20:53:00.001-06:00

Can you tell I've got the Bond bug? I am pathetic. But I love this person's tribute (even though she accidentally used Pierce Brosnan's voice over Daniel Craig's beauty). Check it out.

Another Bond Note...

2006-11-29T20:23:00.000-06:00

I loved this piece of trivia about Daniel Craig being very Bond-ish in real life.

According to the Internet Movie Database, while filming a scene for "The Invasion" (prior to shooting "Casino Royale") at the Chilean Embassy in Washington D.C., Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig were to drive a white SUV to the entrance, stop the car and allow valets to park it.

Kidman forgot to place the car in park, and as she got out it began to roll down the hill. Craig swooped in from the passenger side and dove at the car, hitting the emergency brake and stopping the disaster from proceeding. This happened during heavy rain effects.

As I said. Amazing.

Movie Review: Casino Royale

2006-11-28T00:17:00.000-06:00

Yeah. Amazing. And the movie wasn't half bad either. = )

Daniel Craig is my new favorite. I literally grabbed my friend's arm and said "yummy" at least a dozen times. Okay, it was more like every scene. I am inspired to roll around on hotel room floors with bloody, hunky men. Is that a proper life ambition? Heh heh.

And what is it with those European bathing trunks? H-O-T. You know most American men are way too sissy to attempt these.

Seriously, though, all drool aside, this movie was remarkably well made. I honestly felt like I had gotten my $9 worth after the introductory sequence. And it just got better and better. The villain was perfectly villainous. The hero was, as I've said, perfect. The action was amazing. The plot carried well. I'll even admit that the women were perfectly hot.

If you haven't yet seen this movie, go now. Seriously, drop everything and Go. Now. You must see this man - er, I mean film - on the bigscreen.

Reverting To Teenage Logic

2006-11-26T22:03:00.000-06:00

I am ashamed of myself. 27 years old am I. And yet I find myself entertaining the following thought pattern:

Clearly, I need an iPod nano. 4 GB. In addition to my current iPod. Why on earth would a person need TWO iPods, you ask?

You must understand that I am annoyed that I have more music than will fit on my current iPod. This is bugging me a lot recently because I need to clear up some space to re-transfer all of my holiday music.

I love holiday music. I have a lot of it. The Muppets with John Denver. The Looney-Tunes Christmas. The Barenaked Ladies holiday album. I even have a Regis Philbin Christmas album featuring the vocal stylings of Donal Trump. And of course, Bing Crosby with Julie Andrews. The list could go on and on, especially if you add in all the instrumental albums.

Every year, I transfer a zillion holiday tunes to my iPod in December, then remove them again in January to put back all my regular tunes. It's quite cumbersome. And I hate choosing songs for the month-long chopping block. Should I axe Damien Rice? No way! Sheryl Crow, no problem, but I couldn't kill Tom Petty. GNR? The Kinks? How should I choose? The betrayal takes a lot out of me.

So my lame, former-teenage brain has kicked in: "I could have a seperate iPod just for my holiday tunes! How cool would that be?" And the most pathetic thought of all: "I could even get the special edition RED nano, because it would look all cutesy and appropriate for the holidays."

Somebody smack me, please. I'm an uber-dork.

Beauty Is In The Details...

2006-11-24T14:02:00.000-06:00

Check out these amazing photos of animals in utero.

Stunning.

So Five Weeks Ago...

2006-11-24T12:47:00.000-06:00

I am currently forcing myself to watch the last few episodes of "Studio 60" on my DVR.

I am so over this show. I'm getting extremely annoyed that Amanda Peet keeps declaring, "I'm being dry. Why don't people get that?"

We get it, Amanda. We just don't care. In fact, this show has me struggling to care about a single character anymore.

Anybody with me?

Tell Me I'm Tough

2006-11-24T12:41:00.000-06:00

Surgery was the coolest thing ever. I feel so bad-ass. Of course, I'm obsessively performing my follow up care as ordered.

I practically have timers going for my ice packs, my ointment, my drops and my pills. I even carried a little bag of supplies to Thanksgiving dinner with Mark's family so I wouldn't break stride.

I'm such a nerd. But I'm a bad-ass nerd. Aww yeah.

Medical Lesson Of The Day

2006-11-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

dac·ry·o·cys·to·rhi·nos·to·my (dkr--sst-r-nst-m)
n. The surgical opening of a passage for drainage from the lacrimal sac into the nasal cavity.

a.k.a. what I will be having on Wednesday morning.

After 27 years of my stupid eye causing me problems, I am finally doing something about it. Am I completely twisted that I'm excited to have stitches? For all my medical weirdness, this is one experience I haven't had.

Wish me luck!

PS3...degrees that is

2006-11-18T13:11:00.000-06:00

I saw people camped out at Best Buy the other night waiting for the PS3.

It was FREEZING that night. How many of them do you suppose I saw with any blanket whatsoever?

One. One meager K-Mart looking sleeping bag. The rest were just bundled in their jackets and jeans sleeping on a city sidewalk.

After all that, I'm curious how many of them actually got one. And how many immediately scalped them for a few grand.

Call me self-pampering, but I would definitely spend a few grand to avoid sleeping on a sidewalk without some REI-rated equipment.

Christmas Time Is Here...Almost

2006-11-18T13:07:00.000-06:00

Despite my annoyance at the ever-lengthening retail Christmas season, I am actually getting excited. I love Christmas.

Why am I excited so early, you ask? Because I just watched "Love Actually" for the millionth time, and still loved it.

I think I'm going to make "So if you really love Christmas....c'mon and let it sno-oh!" my new ringtone. But not until December.

Whoa!

2006-11-18T12:18:00.000-06:00

Last night at my restaurant, I seated Brian Urlacher and friends. No big deal. He comes in quite a bit.

But last night, as he thanked me for the table, he said, "By the way, your hair is beautiful."

I love it. Even NFL superstars are rendered powerless by a redhead. Ha ha ha ha.

Seriously, I Suck

2006-11-14T23:59:00.000-06:00

Not only have I not been to the gym yet this week, but my dinners over the last three days were: Chinese food, California Pizza Kitchen and Mud Pie at Bob Chinn's.

Oh, Hancock building. I hear you calling. You're saying you will eat me alive. And I know you're right.

This Is It. (Carpe Diem)

2006-11-12T09:03:00.000-06:00

After four weeks of house-sitting and living out of a suitcase, I am finally returning home today.

I have decided this will mark a new beginning. I will train faithfully. I will get enough sleep. I will catch up on the reading for my class. I will become a punctual person. I will spend time with people I love but don't see enough. I will save money, not spend it impulsively.

No longer will I barely make it for the beginning of my band gig. Scrap a song because I am not confident that I have learned it well enough. Sit on my fat ass and procrastinate all the things that would make me feel good about myself. I will not miss out on seeing my friends when I have the opportunity.

Wish me luck. Being all that I can be is not usually my thing.