Changing Gears - Getting Well
You probably already know that I have suffered through some health difficulties. And basically, I haven't exercised regularly in four years. My body shows it. I think I can rightfully blame my abdominal surgery for some of the softness in my midsection, but I have no excuses anymore. I'm on new meds, I'm feeling well, and I just need to get this done already. The first goal is 15 pounds, but the ultimate goal is 50.
It finally hit me as I was shopping with my thin husband. I was once a shopaholic, but shopping has lost its charm as I've gained weight and sizes. Now I just trudge along unhappily because I want some retail therapy, but I don't actually want anything with the dreaded size printed on it.
Mark tried to encourage me by saying that I should find something that makes me feel cute. And before I even completed the thought in my head, it came out: "I don't deserve to feel cute." I almost stopped in my tracks as I realized the depth of this statement.
Somewhere, deep inside, I must have some severe self-loathing. I think I have always defined myself as cute and perky. Without the first half of that statement, I'm not sure I know who I am. Don't get me wrong. I don't aspire to a stick. I'm built with curves and I like it that way. But I have finally reached the point where my round belly gets in my way when I try to tie my shoes. I spent MONTHS looking for tall boots that would zip up around my calves. I am almost as big around as some pregnant women I know.
No more excuses. I don't care how busy I am or how lazy I prefer to be. I simply can't afford an outcome that causes me to hate myself like this....
So far today, cardio/strength circuits at home. 30 mins = 191 calories burned. More to come after Olympic hockey. U-S-A!
posted by Lori @ 2:29 PM
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4 Comments:
Thanks for the encouragement, "Anonymous." I truly do appreciate it. But there was a not-so-nice comment about a skinny person I love, so I didn't publish your post. I'm not a skinny-hater (just a self-hater...ha ha).
I feel the same way. The round belly really gets in the way of tying shoes or sometimes even from picking up something on the floor. Being chubby the world become unfriendly. Cardio is a good way to go! probably some dancing too... and walking! We can do this! We DESERVE TO BE CUTE!
Go Lori Go! I love ya and I will support you greatly in your newfound attempts to be healthy! We can support each other!
I know how you feel, and i too have decided that i need a health change.. I wish you luck in your journey!! I know you can do it!
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