Murphy's Law of Bigest Loser

I will always forget that the Biggest Loser is on until I'm eating ice cream and flipping channels. Duuuude. So uncool. Thanks, Murph.

Now here's a classic. Not even kidding. Hilarious. I. Am. Seriously. Stupid.

Fast forward to my early twenties. This was my commentary on a man who didn't love me, but I thought he did. I thought he was just waiting for me to make all the moves. So I got annoyed. And wrote this.

Sometime afterward, I DID make all the moves. Handed the boy my heart on a silver platter. And got rejected. Ouch. Turns out he just didn't dig me. But I maintain it would have been awfully helpful if he'd put on the man-pants in the beginning and just told me he wasn't into me. = )

"Initiation"

These are not my pants.

God told me so.

He would rather YOU wear them.

After all, you're the man.

So I'm strong. I work late.

I talk a lot. Loudly, too.

After all, I'm a modern woman.

But somewhere in here is a self-conscious girl

Who doesn't want her modern image.

Something doesn't seem to fit.

Kind of like these pants.

Deep down, she wants to rest sometimes.

To have you be strong and let her be weak.

Just sometimes, she needs to be silenced.

I think she needs a Rhett, and not an Ashley.

You see, some days I'm willing.

But I don't want to be buried in pants.

Please take them off me.

God made me a girl.

And another - same bad style and writing - but NEW guy this time! Yay! Another MF who messed me up! = )

"Tonight"

When I lay down, you're all I see

Memories flashing, you must set me free

All these things you cannot be

Why am I scared when you have rescued me?

Where are you coming from, what is your soul?

What part of the story is yet to be told?

When love should be warm, why do I feel so cold?

You make me want you, make me love you,

Somehow I can't get enough

You drown me in your tender caress - what am I to think of love?

I don't want to end up fucked tonight.

You take me cruising, with you I fly

Just being with you is a natural high

I'm so lost, what must I know - to understand which way to go?

Tonight with you, I cringe, I fear

What happened to all that once was clear?

I want, I hope, I love, I cry

With you I know that I must try

I talk, I think, I act, I lie

Tonight.

Here's another, less sappy, more angry, same guy. = )

"let go"

you tear me up inside, you promised me the world

through heaven you took me for a ride, but all your promises were really lies

i am left alone and searching, but can i trust another you?

i cannot stay here in hell, so i am racing away from you.

i've finally learned what i must do to let go...

all the times we had together, all my false securities

haunt me through my endless dreams, taking me through your impurities.

it's much too late - i am such hate - but now

i've got to rise above and let go.

i want to fly, so fast, so high; i want to see you bleed, to cry

you took my world away from me and left me with hell's reality

you leave me again each day i live, can i ever trust another you?

i cannot stay here in hell, so i am racing away from you

please tell me how i'm going to...let go.

you always love, you never love, but can i love without your love?

i've got to fly but blood drips down, you took everything i've ever known

no trust, no hope, no love, can't cope,

emotion black, sanity cracked,

let go.

Oh, the Melodrama of Teenage-hood

I'm home sick and on a clean-up-my-desk kick and I ran across my little book of songwriting, bad poetry, etc. I will post a few for your amusement (and yes, I wrote in all lowercase thinking myself to be quite deep back in the mid-90s). As they say, puppy love sure feels real to the puppy! = )

"love"

i would just like to know what was going through your mind

was it a conscious decision when you left me behind?

you said i'm your girl looked me straight in the eye

but i could see through to the unspoken goodbye

now all i want to know is why...

you were my everything but now you're just a dream

a fading memory of what we once could be (in love)

i never should have let you touch me never let you reach my soul

you turned me into a heartless fool left me with this gaping hole

you tenderly took me by the hand you led me away to another land

you kissed me on the sandy shore

and all i wanted was one time more (for love)

now you have run not even glancing behind

you left our love for a different kind

you were my everything but now you're just a dream

a fading memory of what we once could be (in love)

(in love for you, i suffer, i cry

i never wanted to say goodbye...to you)

It's Been Too Long....

Thank you, Sergio, for bringing my attention back to my blog.  I'm a bad blog-mama and I've neglected this child!  = (

But no more!

I Must Have Way Too Much Time On My Hands

So I was scanning yelp.com for a drycleaner today, and some sick impulse made me read the reviews of Bob Chinn's.

I can't believe people really buy into the hype over there. So many people name-dropped about how the owner tells them blah blah or blah. I had to literally slap my hand to stop from posting my rebuttal. So I had to post it here instead.

My review of Chinn's, in a nutshell:

THE GOOD
-The hosts and most servers are extremely friendly and efficient. They have good practice after serving thousands of people each day!

-The food is fantastic and it is nice that the kitchen guarantees each dish. If you don't care for it, you can trade in for something else.

-The atmosphere is rather unique. There's always plenty of kitsch to stare at (not to mention the people-watching).

-There are some great specials, especially the late night bar menu. Steak burger for $3 anyone?


THE BAD
-it's a casual restaurant located near the North Shore cities. Translation = entitlement overload in Victoria's Secret "Pink" lounge pants, North Face fleece and UGG boots. Plus, I know of no other area outside the OC where parents instruct their 11 year olds to give the hosts hell about waiting for a table. Seriously.

-The owner speaking to you directly is a HUGE nuisance and should be avoided. He's a self-indulgent old man who talks AT you, nothing more. And then he overstays his welcome to boot.

-It's NOT worth a 2-3 hour wait. Get take-out.

-The prices are a little high (but in all fairness you pay for the fresh shipments, etc)


So overall, the food is good and you can enjoy yourselves if you keep to your own group. But you do not want to lump yourself in with the masses of asses (including the owner). And if you have any self-respect, don't work there. = )
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

"I don't know whether it's something I lack or something extra I have which stops me..." -Ayn Rand's 'Fountainhead'

Done Deal!

After many phone calls and forms, I am now officially known as Lori Arnecilla! Yay!

Our wedding was awesome. I can't believe how many people came out to enjoy the rainy day with us. Here is my very favorite shot from our Chicago photo session before the ceremony. As I finish sorting through all 600 of our professional shots, I will post a highlight reel on my Smugmug page.

Thank you everybody! I love being married! Marky rocks!

God Bless Vacay

Despite Mark leaving me yesterday (to fly home for his bachelor party), this has been the best vacation ever. I'm just northeast of Seattle and loving it.


While Mark was here we accomplished the following:

- Spent quality time with my cousin and his new wife

- Hiked 8 miles up a mountain to a hidden waterfall

- Procured an IN-STOCK iPhone 3G for Mark

- Ate Dim Sum at the W Hotel (fancy!)

- Attended the wedding and enjoyed our new love of the Washington Apple shot

- Met Brits and Canadians and shepherding dogs over BBQ & Wii

- Saw a lock and dam in action and the "ladder" for salmon to get back upstream

- Rolled down a muddy hill with 6 year olds (well, Mark did. I stood there and laughed a lot.)

- Took 10 steps into Pike Place Market before promptly running away from the
crowds

- Ate fresh seafood at the waterfront

- Went on a speedboat and attempted to wakeboard (again, Mark did. I
took the pictures.)

- Saw orca whales and harbor seals on a tour of the San Juan Islands

- Drove over great bridges (and hiked down to get the pictures)

- BBQ'd with friends

- Spent a whole afternoon rock climbing in the mountains with a private guide

- Had yummy sparkling wine, succulent seafood, warm brownie dessert and
an excellent time hanging with a friend

When Mark left, I figured I needed to console myself, so I did these:

- Dressed like a pirate and went out for a sailboat race (while enjoying friendly banter with a Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow impersonator)

- Drove a 300-mile loop with my parents to see the wonders of the
Cascade mountains (and had perfect sunshine right up until the
hail!)

Whew! I'm taking a quick break from packing up. I fly home tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait to see all my furry babies at home, but it's been amazing. I almost hate to go back to real life. = )

To The Summit!

Let the world be told....I am the happiest girl alive.

Mark proposed to me on Saturday (and of course, I said yes). It was romantic, it was at the top of a waterfall and it was PERFECT! = )

Yay for us!

Thought of the day (from on the road)

If you pronounce "Passat" phonetically, it sounds remarkably close to "ass-hat". What a coincidence, Mr-Couldn't-Get-Off-My-Ass!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Humor Me...

I know I've been the master of the stupid quick quips lately, but I have another...

"Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Okay, you two, now I don't want you starting anything..."

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Joke of the Day

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

A: Fo' Drizzle

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! = )

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Quote of the Day

"He had two little stubby eyebrows like very small fish swimming bravely in a great sea of face.". HA!

-from "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell" by Susanna Clarke
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

A Day From Electronic Hell

So my iPod and my laptop both died today. Needless to say, I was devastated. Until I remembered that I'm an eternal optimist (I just forgot for the smallest moment there!)...

I found out that my iPod still functions, but the display is fried. So, by memory, I was able to scroll to a few certain playlists and enjoy my tunes. Then, I promptly ordered a replacement screen. Hell, I've already torn into the iPod to replace the hard drive. What's another minor surgery? I disassembled it to mourn the lost LCD and renamed the damn thing "FrankenPod."

Then, I took my screwdriver to my laptop. Woo hoo! I dug around a bit and removed the hard drive. I think it has some life left in it, despite my complete inability to boot Windows, even in Safe Mode. And, of course, my computer is older than dirt and Betty White put together. I have no way to boot from disk or network or anything. Next step: use an external casing to see if any data on my hard drive is intact.

Until I can afford a new computer (which is NOT in my foreseeable future), I will actually live without one. Well, sort of. There are 2 others in my house. Going to the next bedroom to compute is not exactly third-world conditions, I suppose.

And I still have my Blackberry... You didn't think it would be that easy to unplug me, did you? = )

Quote of the Day

Jim Teatch for Newsweek:

"Even at $100 a barrel, oil is still cheaper than a Starbucks latte."

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Thought of the Day

Am I the only one who feels guilty when I realize that I'm wearing lace panties in church? = )
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Thought of the Day

I love people who wear reading glasses and have 2 pairs on simultaneously...one on the face and one on top of the head (that they most likely forgot about). Ha!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Thought of the Day

Is it considered cannibalism if a stupid person eats a Ding-Dong? Hmmm....

= )

Best Joke Ever

Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

A: Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan...

Ha!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Look Ma, I'm A Movie Star!

So I'm back in the hospital after another acute mystery attack.

This morning, they had me swallow a camera capsule that takes 8 hours of footage of my entire GI tract. Yippee!

That's a pretty impressive breakout role, wouldn't you say? = )

The best part is that I have to wear a "belt" that holds the data receiver. The receiver itself is like a thicker version of a TV remote, but the "belt?"

It's like a fireman's belt complete with suspenders! It's pretty much a hot mess of black velcro and elastic straps, designed in a super-wide width that would put last season's corset belts to shame. Think Olympic weight trainer meets the fanny pack.

Of course, this procedure is usually done outpatient, so they strap people up and send them about their daily business. I can't imagine going around the world in this thing!

You'd be stopped by every cop to find out why you are strapped to a blinking object. And you'd be recruited for 20 lumberjack positions in the first hour alone.

Sheesh. It's bad enough we can't figure me out. But to force me into lumberjack mode? That's just cruel... = )

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

How I Hate You, Kate

I swear.... I have had it up to here with "Kate", my friendly Osco pharmacist.

I highly doubt that any pharmacists use simple nicknames like the bagger on the Jewel side. They earned their PharmD degrees and go by full professional names. Not Tim, but Dr. Timothy Schmo.

Also, they show us images of "Kate" helping an elderly person weigh what appears to be a bag of potatoes. Now answer me this...how many pharmacists have you ever seen wandering the produce aisle?

Not to mention that unwashed produce is hardly clean' but "Kate" just walks on through, picking up God only knows what germs on her white labcoat. Yummy. E Coli with that Viagra anyone?

I also hate that US Cellular commercial where the poor confused dad is all alone because his daughter went off to college. So his cellular representative helps him read his bank statements and pay his bills? C'mon....enough is enough.

We get that you're friendly (or claim to be). But don't try to tell me we will actually become _friends_.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Daaaamn...You Busted, Boy!

In my favorite weird news story around Christmastime, a Chinese sportscaster was publicly exposed as a cheating bastard by his wife.

Hu Ziwei, wife of popular newscaster Zhang Bin, literally hijacked a press conference discussing the Beijing Olympics and told the world, "Mr. Zhang Bin is having an illicit relationship with a woman other than me."

You go, girl. You don't have to take that.

Find Your Happy Weight

This month, SELF magazine is helping women to find their "Happy Weight," a number that suits your height and frame size, and should help us avoid unrealistic expectations.

My Happy Weight is 130. I won't tell you how far away I am from that, but it was nice to see I'm not expected to get back down to my high school weight of 122.

Calculate your own Happy Weight here.

I Hate To Admit It But It's True...

...once you pop...

...you truly can't stop.

Damn you, Pringles! So much for my healthier 2008.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T